Confess

I love Christmas and all the things associated with it...buying gifts, wrapping gifts, decorating, baking, parties, wearing something new to church on the Sunday before Christmas but I hate being with my family on Christmas Day. I love being with my immediate family (husband, kids).

My grandmother passed away in 2001 and since then the family has not been as close. Everyone seems to be in a bad mood at all the holidays especially at Christmas time. Someone in my family always gets upsets and causes a big scene. I just want a normal, relaxing holiday. What is normal though?

Now my mom is gone. She passed away this year and I really don't care if I spend Christmas with my family or not. I'm beginning to think she was right when she said she felt like the outcast of the family. I'm beginning to feel like that myself.

When we get together everyone is quiet and depressed. It's like everyone's immediate family is hanging out together and we're not socializing as a large family. I don't like that!! I want more fun, talking and laughter....

Should I continue going to spend time with my family and fall into there depressed mood or stay home and enjoy fun and fellowship with my husband and kids?

Pray for me....